IJMC Webster's, For the Bi-Gender Society

               IJMC - Webster's, For the Bi-Gender Society

Ok, for all of you who didn't catch on...or read to the bottom of 
yesterday's post...I'm not quitting. It was all an April Fool's Day joke. 
I probably should apologize, since it means I'm going to submit you to 
even more IJMC over the next who knows how long! So, sit back, adjust 
your tray tables, smoke 'em if ya got 'em, and please return the 
stewardess to her original, upright position. It's gonna be a bumpy ride, 
but I think you'll enjoy the rest of your flight on IJMC Air.       -dave

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
Female:  Any part under a car's hood.
  Male:  The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
Female:  A woman who makes love to other women.
  Male:  A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really
         turned on.

Glass ceiling (glass see-ling) n.
Female:  The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper
         levels in business.
  Male:  What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the
         office one flight up.

Vulnerable  (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female:  Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
  Male:  Playing ball without a cup.

Communication  (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female:  The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
  Male:  Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with
         the guys.

Butt  (but) n.
Female:  The body part that every item of clothing manufacturer makes look
  Male:  The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment  (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female:  A desire to get married and raise a family.
  Male:  Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment  (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female:  A good movie, concert, play or book.
  Male:  Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence  (flach-u-lens) n.
Female:  An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
  Male:  An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male 

Making love  (may-king luv) n.
Female:  The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
  Male:  What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote Control  (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female:  A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
  Male:  A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2-+ minutes.

Taste  (tayst) v.
Female:  Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make
         sure it's good.
  Male:  Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to
         tossing it out.

IJMC April 1999 Archives