IJMC - What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

Well, it's 2:45am here in Atlanta...and my kitchen still isn't unpacked. 
All the big boxes are...but the little ones...the ones with the food... 
well, they aren't yet. One or two more dishwasher loads will finish
cleaning all the dishes and pots and pans and baking ware and utensils and
glasses and mugs and everything else that goes in a dishwasher. Put it
away, and then see what's left for the food. Oi. I need more room in my
kitchen...or I need to give up the expresso machine or the alcohol. Hmm, I
need more room in my kitchen.                                        -dave



Funny epitaphs from real tombstones:
 
On the grave of Ezekiel Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
          Here lies
          Ezekial Aikle
          Age 102
          The Good
          Die Young.  
 
In a London, England cemetery:
          Ann Mann
          Here lies Ann Mann,
          Who lived an old maid
          But died an old Mann.
          Dec. 8, 1767  
 
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
          Anna Wallace
          The children of Israel wanted bread
          And the Lord sent them manna,
          Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
          And the Devil sent him Anna.  
 
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
          Here lies
          Johnny Yeast
          Pardon me
          For not rising.  
 
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
          Here lies the body
          of Jonathan Blake
          Stepped on the gas
          Instead of the brake 
. 
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
          Here lays Butch,
          We planted him raw.
          He was quick on the trigger,
          But slow on the draw.  
 
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
          Sacred to the memory of
          my husband John Barnes
          who died January 3, 1803
          His comely young widow, aged 23, has
          many qualifications of a good wife, and
          yearns to be comforted.  
 
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
          Sir John Strange
          Here lies an honest lawyer,
          And that is Strange.
          its no business
          Of yours.  
 
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona
in the cowboy days of the 1880's.  He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery
in Tombstone, Arizona:
          Here lies Lester Moore
          Four slugs from a .44
          No Les No More.  
 
In a Georgia cemetery:
          "I told you I was sick!"  
 
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
          Reader if cash thou art
          In want of any
          Dig 4 feet deep
          And thou wilt find a Penny. 
  
On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
          She always said her feet were killing her
          but nobody believed her.  
 
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
          On the 22nd of June
          - Jonathan Fiddle -
           Went out of tune.  
 
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
          Here lies the body of our Anna
          Done to death by a banana
          It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
          But the skin of the thing that made her go.  
 
More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
          Gone away
          Owin' more
          Than he could pay. 
  
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
          In Memory of Beza Wood
          Departed this life
          Nov. 2, 1837
          Aged 45 yrs.
          Here lies one Wood
          Enclosed in wood
          One Wood
          Within another.
          The outer wood
          Is very good:
          We cannot praise
          The other.  
 
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
          Under the sod and under the trees
          Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
          He is not here, there's only the pod:
          Pease shelled out and went to God.  
 
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer
tip:
          Who was fatally burned
          March 21, 1870
          by the explosion of a lamp
          filled with "R.E. Danforth's
          Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"  
 
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
          Born 1903--Died 1942
          Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
          the car was on the way down. It was.  
 
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
          Here lies an Atheist
          All dressed up
          And no place to go.