IJMC - A Crumb For All Reasons

I know, after the last message, this one may be a bit half-baked. But 
it's quite timely, since Rosh Hashana begins Sunday night. I wonder if my 
good friend Joe will be over his hangover from Saturday by then...
congradulations on the promotion, Joe!                              -dave







A Crumb for All Reasons

(At Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, which is this month, many Jews do
TASHLIKH, which is the custom of casting bread crumbs, symbolizing one's
sins, into a running brook.   The act symbolizes the intention to do
repentance)

For ordinary sins, use white bread
For exotic sins, French bread
For paricularly dark sins, pumpernickle or multi-grain
For twisted sins, pretzels
For tasteless sins, rice cakes
For sins of indecision, waffles
For sins committed in haste, matza
For sins of chutzpa, fresh bread
For arson, toast
For inhaling, stoned wheat thins
For auto theft, caraway
For being ill-tempered, sourdough,
For illness, nut bread
For flagwaving, Yankee Doodles
For not giving full value, shortbread
For excessive use of irony, rye bread
For telling bad jokes, cornbread
For hardening our hearts, stale bread
For being money hungry, raw dough
For warmongering, kaiser rolls
For immodest dress, tarts
For causing injury or damage to others, tortes
For promisicuity, hot buns
For racism, crackers
For coldheartedness, frozen bread
For sins of neglect, moldy bread
For singing off tune, flatbread
For being holier than thou, bagels
For upbraiding another, challah
For indecent pornography, cheese cake
For trashing the environment, dumplings
For sins of laziness, any long loaf,
For sins of pride, puff pastry
For lying, baked goods with Nutrasweet & Olestra
For sins of the righteous, angel food cake
For selling your soul, devil's food cake