IJMC - Pooched Definitions

These sound like they come from a set of books I've heard about, but I 
don't have the attribution and I can't remember the title right now. So, 
if you know where they're from, let me know and I'll mention it in an 
upcoming post...                                                   -dave







  (no, I don't have any work to do these days...)


 1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj.
 Being able to drive and refold a road map at
 the same time.

 2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
 Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub
 faucet on and off with your toes.

 3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The
 point where the stream of drinking fountain
 water is at its perfect height, thus
 relieving the drinker from (a) having to
 suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in
 the eye (or ear).

 4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n.
 When a hamburger can't take any more torture
 and hurls itself through the grill into the
 coals.

 5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n.
 People in phone marts who walk around
 picking up display phones and listening for
 dial tones even when they know the phones
 are not connected.

 6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
 n.  The act, when vacuuming, of running over
 a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen
 times, reaching over and picking it up,
 examining it, then putting it back down to
 give the vacuum one more chance.

 7. DIMP (dimp) n.
 A person who insults you in a cheap
 department store by asking, "Do you work
 here?"

 8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.
 To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped
 on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
 assuming this will `remove' all the germs.

 9. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n.
 A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in
 the rearview mirror.

 10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n.
 Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
 movies who, no matter what direction you
 lean in, follow suit.

 11. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n.
 The actions of two people maneuvering for
 one armrest in a movie theater.

 12. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n.
 The mistaken notion that the more you press
 an elevator button the faster it will
 arrive.

 13. FRUST (frust) n.
 The small line of debris that refuses to be
 swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a
 person across the room until he finally
 decides to give up and sweep it under the
 rug.

 14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay'
 shun) n.
 Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk
 container so badly that one has to resort to
 the `illegal' side.

 15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n.
 A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come
 to life.

 16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n.
 The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
 purpose seems to be walking around asking
 diners if they want ground pepper.

 17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One
 who is embarrassed to undress in front of a
 household pet.

 18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
 The affliction of dialing a phone number and
 forgetting whom you were calling just as
 they answer.

 19. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n.
 The moist residue left on a window after a
 dog presses its nose to it.

 20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay'
 shun) n.
 The act of always letting the phone ring at
 least twice before you pick it up, even when
 you're only six inches away.