IJMC - How To Spot a West Virginian

Now then, I know we're not supposed to pick on those less fortunate than 
ourselves. I know we're supposed to be kind to those who couldn't choose 
their fate. I know Sara's gonna want to kill me for this one. I know 
ya'll gonna like it anyway. <grin>                                 -dave







YOU MIGHT BE FROM WEST VIRGINNY ,   IF. . . . .

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. 

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids. 

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch
this!"

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen,
start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house  exploded right off its
wheels.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much
gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.