IJMC Talk About Stupid

                        IJMC - Talk About Stupid

This woman puts Pauly Shore to shame. I mean, she's like this in real 
life while he only acts. Right? BTW, if you have the power, and the 
inclination, take a look at Unreal...whoa. Looks good. Plays good. Yipes, 
I gotta finish finals before I fire it up again...but man, it looks good.
Anyone wanna send me a P2-300+ to keep playing it on?               -dave

        Stupid Award of the Day:
        Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the
        campus of the University of New Hampshire. Vinnie is his
        boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, this actually
        happened. Ian is telling the story:

        This declaration of the stupid award goes to a customer today.
        Below is a close rendition of the conversation with her.


        Lady: Yes, I'd like a milk with some coffee in it.
        Ian: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a milk?

        Lady: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee.
        Ian: Is there more milk or coffee?

        Lady: Oh, definitely more coffee.
        Ian: So, that's a coffee with some extra milk.

        Lady: Just the usual amount of milk.
        Ian: A coffee with milk.

        Lady: Yes.
        Ian: Anything else?

        Lady: A little extra milk, and do you have coffee with no caffeine?
        Ian: We do have decaf.

        Lady: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine.
        Ian: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no caffeine.
        Lady: Oh, then do you have milk with no caffeine?
        Ian: Milk doesn't come with caffeine.

        Lady: Yes it does.
        Ian: Not that I know of, where do you get your milk?

        Lady: It doesn't say caffeine-free on the milk, so it must have
        Ian: Oh, you're right, my mistake. I forgot that we only get the
        decaf milk. No problem, we have only decaf milk. Anything else?

        Lady: Do you have any bagels?
        Vinnie: (who has been listening all along) I'm sorry, ma'am, we're
        all out of decaf bagels.
        Lady: Oh, well, then I'll have one of those, with sesame seeds.
        Vinnie: We're all out, ma'am.

        Lady: Well, what are those? (pointing at sesame bagels)
        Vinnie: Those are sesame donuts with extra caffeine added.

        Lady: I guess I'll just have the coffee. Do you take credit cards?
        Ian: No ma'am, cash only.

        Lady: What about Visa?
        Ian: Is that a credit card?

        Lady: Well, yes.
        Vinnie: Is it cash?

        Lady: No.
        Vinnie: Then no, we can't take it.

        Lady: What about checks?
        Ian: Cash ma'am, nothing else.

        Lady: Ok. how much is that?
        Vinnie: Eleven dollars and 45 cents. (insert: for a cup of coffee,
        if you missed that.)
        Lady: Really?
        Vinnie: New war in Alaska is ruining the coffee business, plus you
        wanted the coffee with no caffeine, that's hard to find now, had to
        grow it myself.

        Lady: Ok. (proceeds to write a check)
        Vinnie: Please leave.

        Lady: Why?
        Vinnie: You're raising my blood pressure, leave now.

        Lady: But what about my coffee?
        Vinnie: Leave and never return.

        She leaves, but pays the $11.45 first.

IJMC May 1998 Archives