IJMC - A Snail's Pace

Which is about what I've got with tonight's IJMC posting...remind me not 
to start the downloads before I send out the post....it really slows down 
my telnet connection. Oh well, I'm almost done now, aren't you glad? At 
least you don't have to read it as fast as I am able to type it.    -dave




Out Gathering Snails  

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major
status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this
and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she
realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she
asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was
handing him to gather some snails.

Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door,
down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails,
he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a
little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't
it be great if she would even just come down and _talk_ to me." He
went back to gathering the snails.  All of a sudden he looked up, and
the beautiful woman was standing right over him.

They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were
at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing
around. It got so hot and heavy, than he was exhausted afterwards and
passed out there. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and
exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his
clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the
door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment.

He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that
when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails.
There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with
a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been
all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he
looked at her, then back at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're
almost there!"