IJMC - At The Pool Party

I want to take a moment and thank everyone who's submitted things to the 
IJMC over the past few months. I haven't had the time to thank everyone 
for submissions, especially the ones I haven't used for one reason or 
another. But I do thank you for them, and please, even if I haven't used 
anything you've sent me before, keep sending submissions. Generally the 
reason I don't use something is because it's been sent out before in the 
three and more years the IJMC has prospered. You are appreciated, even if 
I've been too busy to say so personally!                            -dave



At The Pool Party...

One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded,
and he had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs,
girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little
eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles. So there he
was,  him and his friends all standing around drinking, getting high
and  partying next to the pool.

The guy gets up on the life gard tower and all his friends look up. He
calls for silence and says "OK, the first person the swims across my
pool will get all my money."

No one moves. The guy looks over the crowd, draws on his joint and
says "OK, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money
and my house."

Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person the swims across my
pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and planes."

Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time. "OK then, all my
money, my house, all my cars, all my planes, all the dope you can
handle, all my property, all my stocks and bonds and investments and
all the girls you can handle; everything I own."

"Splash!" Someone's in the pool. Crocodiles are all over him, but he
rolls over like Tarzan, he's all over the place, fighting and dodging.
Finally he gets out of the pool on the other side. The rich guy on
tower  jumps down and runs over to him.

"That was incredible! I never thought that I would ever see that done.
Do you want the money now or later?"
"I don't want the money."

"Do you want the house now or later?"
"I don't want the house."

"Do you want the cars and planes now or later?"
"I don't want the cars or the planes."

"Do you want the bonds, stocks and stuff now or later?"
"I don't want that either."

"Do you want the drugs now or later?"
"I don't want the drugs."

"Do you want the girls now or later?"
"I don't want the girls."

The rich guy looks at him and says "Well what the hell do you want?!?!"
"I want the bastard that pushed me in!"