IJMC Things You'll Never Hear

                    IJMC - Things You'll Never Hear

Oh yeah, one other thing about that trip...if anyone was paying attention 
to the weather.com address I sent out for Cozumel/Cancun...well, it 
wasn't really right...May 1st marks the beginning of the wet season in 
southern Mexico. It didn't rain the entire time we were there but there 
was an impressive storm...                                          -dave

 Top ten things you'll never hear one woman say to another woman:

 1.  That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my
     husband company while I go for a swim?

 2.  Oh, look, that women and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go
     introduce myself!

 3.  His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and I'm
     happy for them both.

 4.  If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody.

 5.  He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.

 6.  I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned
     waiter with a heart of gold any day!

 7.  We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him
     with the color choices!

 8.  He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

 9.  Why can't I find a guy who'll have a wild carefree night of sex and
     then just go his seperate way for once?

 10. I just realized -- my butt doesn't look fat in this -- my butt is fat!


 Top ten things you'll never hear one guy say to another guy:

 1.  Does my butt look fat in this?

 2.  I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?

 3.  I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!

 4.  Yours is bigger than mine.

 5.  I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.

 6.  There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a
     movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then
     suffers miserably.

 7.  Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!

 8.  You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commericals.

 9.  I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.

 10. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the
     important thing.

IJMC May 1998 Archives