IJMC Right-Wing Christian Dictionary

              IJMC - Right-Wing Christian Dictionary

This little piece of work is almost as stereotypical as was Gene 
Hackman's part in "The Birdcage". Almost...                -dave









THE RIGHT-WING CHRISTIAN DICTIONARY

Activist -- Anyone you disagree with.  Thus, "activist" judges,
"activist" unions, "activist" school boards, and "activist" homosexuals.

Agenda --  All political objectives you oppose.  Democrats, liberals,
feminists, gays, environmentalists have "agendas."  Right-wing
politicians have "hopes" and "dreams" and "godly plans of action."

Boycott -- God's preferred method of social change.  If the targeted
organization capitulates to a boycott, it is proof of "the power of God
to change hearts."  However, if a boycott is unsuccessful, it proves the
organization being boycotted is "hardened" and "in the grip of the
Devil."

Broken families -- Refers only to divorce and applies to ALL divorces.
Families are never "broken" or "shattered" by bad marriages, domestic
violence, child abuse, incest or molestation.

Career -- The greatest deception ever perpetrated upon women by "radical
feminists" and one of the primary causes for The Breakdown Of The Family.
Careers for women are "destructive" and "unfulfilling" compared to
full-time child-rearing and home education.  Women who attempt to balance
family and career are seen as "shirking their God-given responsibility"
and are responsible for creating another "generation without values."

Civil rights -- The concept of equal legal rights; applies to everyone
except gay and lesbian Americans for whom equal rights become "special"
rights.

Deception -- Term describing the state of being a fellow Christian is in
if they disagree with you on a social or theological issue.  For example, if
another Christian holds views that are pro-choice, pro-gay rights, or
anti-death penalty, then they are "deceived."  If the same Christian
makes a logical, reasoned argument for their position, then they are "misled."
If the same Christian also makes a Scriptural argument for their
position, then they are "false teachers," "rebellious," and guilty of
"twisting the Word."  See "Liberal."

Death Penalty -- A form of punishment not used often enough.  Most
right-wing Christians long for the day when this is implemented against
gays and lesbians.  (See "Compassion.")  The only time the death penalty
is not considered "God's mighty judgment" is when a death row inmate has
become a born-again Christian.  Then, the death penalty is "unnecessary"
and seen as an "impediment to further ministry" by the inmate slated for
execution.

Disney -- The main force behind The Collapse of Traditional Moral Values,
and one of society's greatest threats to The Family, second only to gays
and lesbians.  Responsible for creating and popularizing the idea of
domestic partner benefits.

Domestic partner benefits -- Given by most progressive businesses and
large corporations years before Disney offered them.  Seen as a sign of
"collapsing moral values" and as one of the largest threats to The
Family. Main impetus for implementing The Boycott, but only against certain
companies.  See "Disney."

Domestic violence -- A mythical problem that does not affect The Family,
does not injure or kill Christian women, and is never to be addressed.

The Family -- Unit of: heterosexual male head of household married for
life to heterosexual female homemaker, with biological homeschooled children
concieved without birth control at least 9 months after marriage in
conservative Bible-believing church.  No exceptions.

Feminist -- Term (derogatory) for women not sufficiently submissive.
Responsible for: neglected children, teenage pregnancy, unemployed males,
poor SAT scores, breakdown of The Family.

Gay/Lesbian -- Homosexual is the preferred term, as it focuses more
explicitly on sex.  With feminists and liberals, responsible for nearly
all social ills (with the possible exception of abortion).

Gay Christians -- Not possible.  Those that claim to exist are "trapped"
in a state of Deception, and are first in line for the Lake of Fire because
they "twist God's Word."  To save them, right-wing Christians must
exercise "compassion" and tell them that God wants to kill them.

God -- See "Republican".

Hate Crimes -- Do not exist.  Just another lie from "militant radical
homosexual activists."

Heterosexuals --- Never used.  Assumed to be everyone on earth, except
for tiny number of "militant radical homosexual activists".

Hollywood -- The source of all evil in Western Civilization.  Controlled
either by Disney, feminists, liberals, and "militant radical homosexual
activists" or Time/Warner when a new rap album is released.  Also known
as "Mystery Babylon" and "the pit of Hell."

Homosexuals -- Tiny minority of "militant radical activists" seeking
special rights, hiring quotas and the destruction of The Family.   Recent
phenomena signalling The End Is Near.

Judicial system -- Varying definitions.  When ruling against you, the
courts are a sneaky way of subverting the "will of the people".
Otherwise, a perfectly acceptable way of enforcing God's Will.

Materialism -- Does not exist; therefore, not an issue.  Massive personal
wealth among leaders of organizations you support is further evidence of
"God's favor."

Media -- No such thing.  Always "liberal, secular, biased media".
Responsible for teenage pregnancy, illiteracy, sexual addictions,
earthquakes, and the breakdown of The Family.

Militant -- Never applied to political positions you agree with. Militant
pro-lifers, militant pro-family-ists, and militant Christians are a
contradiction in terms.

Persecution -- Suffered if your position on an issue is actively opposed.
Examples of "persecution" include investigative journalistic reporting,
any lawsuit filed against a church organization by the ACLU, or being yelled
at by people you have harrassed by fax or phone or misrepresented in your
fund-raising materials.

Physician -- Any doctor, except those who perform abortions.  Physicians
who  perform abortions are "abortionists".  See "baby-killer".

Radical -- Applied to anyone who disagrees with you.  Thus, "radical"
homosexuals, "radical" feminists, "radical" environmentalists. Right-wing
Christians are not radical, they are "committed" and "focused".

Republican -- See "God".

Social engineering (syn. social experimentation) -- Term for the
"activist agendas" of political opponents.  Opposite is the "natural God-given
plan" as defined only by right-wing Christians.

"Special" rights -- Applied only to gay and lesbian Americans.  Refers to
marriage, adoption and other rights automatically granted to
heterosexuals.

Supreme Court -- "Activist" when ruling against you.  But "evidence of
the mighty hand of God" when ruling in your favor or when Clarence Thomas is
admitted to the bench.

Supreme Court appointments -- Varying definitions.  A presidential right,
if president is Republican.  Called "stacking the court" if president is
Democrat.

Ten Percent -- A lie about the percentage of the population that is gay
or lesbian popularized by "militant radical homosexual activists", when in
fact Right-wing Christian organizations have "proven" the figure is
closer to one percent.  How one percent of the population is responsible
for The Destruction Of The Family is never clearly explained.  See "Avoiding
Difficult Questions."

"Will of the people" -- Used only when the public votes your way.
Acceptable method of denying constitutional rights of minorities.  Never
used when public opinion is against you (i.e. abortion, doctor-assisted
suicide, etc.).

Women -- See "wives", "mothers", or "homemakers".  No other definition
available.


IJMC March 1998 Archives