IJMC - Saturday's Post
Ok, so I forgot to send one...it happens to the best of us...deal with
it. I actually wonder how many of you look for the IJMC on Sunday anyway?
Granted, I'm a bit afraid to find out. -dave
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of
drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on
car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared with a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far
more likely to actually finish a household repair project before
starting a new one.
CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden,
over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks -
especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged
men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new
hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to
noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a
sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts
after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether
the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite
store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra.
Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making
men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with
other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious
intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage
can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in
treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful
for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the
test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of
other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test
subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when
being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular,
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.