IJMC - Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers...

Ok, so maybe they aren't the ones with the "blue light special" but 
that's all right, Wal-Mart's open twenty-four hours a day. At one an 
hour, you could complete this entire list in little over two days and 
still get the bonus point! IJMC troopers, go to it!             -dave







50 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding
them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the
day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air
fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
 
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in narrow
aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've
got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn
the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so
long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough
for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a
"test drive."
 
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.
Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your
playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and
say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.
 
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite
them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm
Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you
people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them,
yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any
in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
 
33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:
Impossible."
 
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
 
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly
make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.  If the
store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out
much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

*BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.