IJMC You Want a Commentary?

                    IJMC - You Want a Commentary?

After that much deathmatch Quake, and having to be at class in oh, seven 
hours...my brain's fried. But hey, good night...great food, lots of it, 
and then lotsa gaming. Now sleep. Then class. Then more sleep.     -dave

 If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video 
 camera and come help me. --Bobcat Goldthwait 
 Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having 
 to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're 
 eating sandwiches. --Jim Carrey 
 I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every 
 other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking 
 the locks, they are always locking three.  --Elayne Boosler 
 Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? 
 --John Mendoza 
 Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should 
 treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, 
 they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay 
 and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. 
 --Bob Ettinger 
 I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use 
 language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may 
 be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from 
 animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.   --Jeff Stilson 
 Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think 
 that's how dogs spend their lives.    --Sue Murphy 
 The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is 
 suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best 
 friends. If they are okay, then it's you.   --Rita Mae Brown 
 Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty 
 violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain 
 all over it,maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should 
 get rid of the body before you do the wash.   --Jerry Seinfeld 
 USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four 
 people make up 75 percent of the population. 
 --David Letterman 
 I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. 
 --Lily Tomlin 
 The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. 
 Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little 
 Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. 
 Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past 
 me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the 
 toe clippers right here.'    --Jerry Seinfeld 
 Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my 
 fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner. 
 --Lynda Montgomery

IJMC January 1998 Archives