IJMC - You Want a Commentary?
After that much deathmatch Quake, and having to be at class in oh, seven
hours...my brain's fried. But hey, good night...great food, lots of it,
and then lotsa gaming. Now sleep. Then class. Then more sleep. -dave
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video
camera and come help me. --Bobcat Goldthwait
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having
to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're
eating sandwiches. --Jim Carrey
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking
the locks, they are always locking three. --Elayne Boosler
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should
treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you,
they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay
and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use
language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may
be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from
animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners. --Jeff Stilson
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives. --Sue Murphy
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they are okay, then it's you. --Rita Mae Brown
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty
violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain
all over it,maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should
get rid of the body before you do the wash. --Jerry Seinfeld
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four
people make up 75 percent of the population.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war.
Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little
Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there.
Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past
me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the
toe clippers right here.' --Jerry Seinfeld
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my
fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.