IJMC - It Takes Two...

As promised, two-a-day until I catch up...the archives think this is the 
post for February the second...hmm. Anyway, Jennifer D., if you're still 
on this list, I think you'll like one of these laws...and I still owe you 
lunch. The rest of you, a quick mention, I've been told that the 
soldier's story was by Sidney Sheldon and several people told me 
different authors for the Redneck's Ballad...someone wrote everything 
sent out here, and if I know who, I list it...but continue to feel free 
to let me know if you know. I'm not feeling lucid anymore, it's time to 
go soak and get some sleep. Til tomorrow, this is dave signing off. -dave



"The Law of Volunteering"

     If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"

     When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the
     mouse.

"The Law of Common Sense"

     Never accept a drink from a urologist.

"The Law of Reality"

     Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to
     lose.

"The Law of Self Sacrifice

     When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

"The Law of Motivation"

     Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

"Boob's Law"

    You always find something in the last place you look.

"Weiler's Law"

    Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it
    himself.

"Law of Probable Dispersal"

    Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

"Law of Volunteer Labor"

    People are always available for work in the past tense.

"Conway's Law"

    In any organization there is one person who knows what is going
    on.

    That person must be fired.

"Iron Law of Distribution"

    Them that has, gets.

"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"

    There is always one more bug.

"Law of Drunkedness"

    You can't fall off the floor.

"Heller's Law"

    The first myth of management is that it exists.

"Osborne's Law"

    Variables won't; constants aren't.

"Main's Law"

    For every action there is an equal and opposite government
    program.

"Weinberg's Second Law"

     If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
     then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed
     civilization.