IJMC - The NBA Still Needs Your Help!
Scary, scary things, these rogue programmers are. They resurrect
programs, in this case a game, that you thought perhaps were dead. A game
meant to live on fondly in one's mind...not on one's computer screen.
Yet, the man, Bruce Lewis has done just that. Doom lives on, bright and
better than in Technicolor. glDoom brings back old memories. Past
glories. Shooting RBM in the face with a rocket. Ahh. Of course, updating
a classic...tends to show you just how little progress has been made in
the genre, but that's a topic for another night. -dave
THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU NOW!!!
With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is
the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not
right: hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are
living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And,
as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for
several weeks-possibly a whole year-as a result of the strike. But now
you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day-that's less than
the cost of a large screen projection TV-you can help a basketball
player remain economically viable during his time of need.
Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you,
but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a
vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you,
two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or
mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two thousand dollars a
day will almost replace his salary.
Your commitment of two thousand dollars a day will enable a player to
buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a
new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
"HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k),
real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your
home. You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the $5
million lump sum he will receive upon retirement. Plus upon signing up
for this program, you will receive a photo of the player (unsigned).
Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
"HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING"
Your basketball player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who
just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know
your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a
special operator just in case additional funds are needed for
Simply fill out the form below.
___YES, I want to help!
I would like to sponsor a striking NBA basketball player. My
preference is checked below:
[ ] Starter
[ ] Reserve
[ ] Star*
[ ] Superstar**
[ ] Entire team***
[ ] I'll sponsor a player most in need. Please select one for me.
** Much higher cost
*** Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific
team (Sorry, does not include cheerleaders).
Please charge the account listed below $2,054.79 per day for a reserve
player or starter for the duration of the strike. Please send me a
picture of the player I have sponsored, along with a team logo and my
very own NBA Players Association badge to wear proudly on my lapel.
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
[ ] DiscoverCard [ ] Diner's Club
Your Name: __________________________
Telephone Number: __________________________
Account Number: __________________________ Exp.Date:_________
Mail completed form to NBA Players Association or call 1-888-TOO-MUCH
now to enroll by phone. (Children under 18 must have parental
approval.) Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they
have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not
limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Keep
in mind that the basketball player you have sponsored will be much too
busy enjoying his free time, thanks to your generous donations. Oh
yes, contributions are not tax-deductible.