Subject: IJMC - "Would You Like to Take a Survey?" (fwd)
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                    IJMC - Two For the Price of One!

Tonight's posts don't really go out to anyone, but I got quite a kick out 
of the first one and I think Jennifer should appreciate the latter one. 
The rest of you, I won't make any suppositions about...             -dave






One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He
noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear
whatsoever. 

The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes
later.  The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined
him. This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board
set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without
equipment?" 

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and
wrote, 

"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"


***************************


Who's the Boss?

     When the Lord made man, all the parts of the body argued over who 
would be boss.
     The brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the 
body, he should be boss.
     The legs argued that since they took man wherever he wanted to go, they
should be boss.
     The stomach countered with the explanation that since he digested 
all the food, he should be boss.
     The eyes said that without them man would be helpless, so they 
should be boss.
     Then the asshole applied for the job. The other parts of the body 
laughed so hard at this that the asshole became mad and closed up.

     After a few days...

     The brain went foggy, the legs got wobbly, the stomach got ill, and the
eyes got crossed and unable to see. They all conceded and made the asshole
boss. 


This proved that you don't have to be a brain to be boss... Just an Asshole.