IJMC - Bank Robbery, 101

This brings to mind a simple question about the state of education today. 
Why are we not taught useful skills. Generally I'm thinking along the 
lines of carpentry, bookkeeping, how to dress, etc. But, in thinking 
about it, how to rob a bank would be quite a useful skill. You'd rarely 
be so poor you couldn't do laundry, you could hire a carpenter, and you 
could pay someone else to do your books. Let's start a grass-roots 
campaign to have Bank Robbing added to today's curriculum!          -dave





 The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark's "How Not to Rob a Bank"
 Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number
 of would-be robbers.

 PICK THE RIGHT BANK
 You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA,
 who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no
 money.

 STUDY YOUR HISTORY
 Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield,
 Minnesota.  Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk
 took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang.
 Nobody  tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy
 down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.

 SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER
 One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her
 father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it.
 He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities
 arrived.

 DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE
 Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in
 the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the
 name and address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford,
 Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's
 signature and account number.

 DON'T ADVERTISE
 A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her
 face by wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up
 banks.

 GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE
 One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face
 first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be
 positively identified by lip-print.

 TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY
 Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn
 into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police
 guardhouse and, thinking it was a toll-booth, offered the security
 men money.

 BE AWARE OF THE TIME
 Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit
 the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North
 Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic until police
 arrived.

 CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK
 Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber,
 while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket,
 shot himself in the head and died instantly.

 BE STRONG
 Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea,
 Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money,
 fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His
 getaway car, parked nearby, had the keys locked inside it.