IJMC - It's a Great Friday

Fridays are almost always good and today is better than most. Why? 
Because I'm now unemployed. What a feeling. Of course, it won't last 
long, I start a new job in a week or so...but today, was great. Something 
about telling your boss you're leaving...ahh.                       -dave







Thought you might enjoy these WORDS OF WISDOM:
     
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
     
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
     
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
     
There's no future in time travel.
     
Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
     
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
     
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
     
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
     
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
     
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
     
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
     
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
     
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
     
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
     
Death is hereditary.
     
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
     
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
     
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
     
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
     
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
     
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
     
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
     
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
     
Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
     
Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
     
A good pun is its own reword.
     
I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
     
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
     
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
     
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
     
Wear short sleeves!  Support your right to bare arms!
     
To err is human, to moo bovine.
     
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
     
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
     
MicroSloth: "Bringing you ten-year-old technology, tomorrow, maybe."
     
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
     
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
     
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
     
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
     
There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
     
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.

Tina R. Cannon
Developmental Mathematics Instructor
Chattanooga State Technical Community College
TCANNON@CSTCC.CC.TN.US