IJMC - Maybe Toys'R'Us Should Sponsor This One?

That could be the next major takeover of the world. Toys'R'Us buys out 
the Vatican, allowing them to change the Catholic faith to instead buy 
more toys! Maybe I've just been reading too much economics. Perhaps I 
should just go to sleep now. But can't you see it? Little Tickle-Me 
Pope's! (Batteries Not Included)                                 -dave






Comparison of Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican - They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in
            big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Southern Baptist - If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way 
                   ticket to Hell.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's
                        just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
              difference.
Unitarian Universalism - We still haven't decided if the toys exist.