IJMC Below The Belt

                       IJMC - Below The Belt

Although it may be a year or more until the next Star Wars arrives in 
theatres, we can still laugh over the old trilogy. With the substitution 
of one work in certain locations, you can portray the entire trilogy in a 
whole new light...                                                  -dave

Lines from Star Wars that can be amusing if you substitute the word
"Pants" for key words:

- - We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

- - The pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it

- - I find your lack of pants disturbing.

- - These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe.  I suggest
    we use it.

- - Han will have those pants down.  We've got to give him more time!

- - General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

- - I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

- - TK-421. . .  Why aren't you in your pants?

- - Lock the door.  And hope they don't have pants.

- - You are unwise to lower your pants.

- - She must have hidden the plans in her pants.  Send a detachment down
    to retrieve them.  See to it personally Commander.

- - Governor Tarkin.  I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on

- - You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark.

- - Luke. . .  Help me take...these pants off.

- - Great, Chewie, great.  Always thinking with your pants.

- - That blast came from those pants.  That thing's operational!

- - A tremor in the pants.  The last time I felt this was in the
    presence of my old master.

- - Don't worry.  Chewie and I have gotten into a lot pants more heavily
    guarded than this.

- - Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

- - Your pants betray you.  Your feelings for them are strong.
    Especially one. . . Your sister!

- - Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the
    first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

- - Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

- - Attention.  This is Lando Calrissean.  The Empire has taken control
    of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

- - I cannot teach him.  The boy has no pants.

- - You came in those pants?  You're braver than I thought.

- - Yesssss.  The hate is swelling in your pants.

IJMC November 1997 Archives