IJMC It's a Good Thing I Didn't Write the Bible...

          IJMC - It's a Good Thing I Didn't Write the Bible...

As a college student and a fully employed member of the labor force, if 
the task of writing the Bible had fallen to me...well, it would still be 
on the docket to complete, sometime in the next century. Granted, that 
would make all the Millenium people pretty much moot. They'd just go 
"poof" and dissapear...                                            -dave

Top Ten Ways The Bible Would Have Been Different
If Written By College Students. 

10)  Loaves and fishes replaced by pizza and chips.

 9)  Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-
     spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.

 8)  Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.

 7)  Paul's letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.

 6)  Reason Cain killed Abel:  They were roommates.

 5)  The place where the end of the world occurs - not the Plains of
     Armageddon - rather - Finals.

 4)  Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere.

 3)  Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years:
     They didn't want to stop and ask for directions and look like Freshman.

 2)  Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.

 --and --

 1)  Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the 

 He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then 
 pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed. 

IJMC November 1997 Archives