IJMC - That Dang Inner Child
Tonight's post is a cute antithema to all of the wonderfully PC inner
child articles I've ever seen. My personal favorite has to be number 2,
but then I do think that number one fits as the number on reason...I'm
just curious about one thing in number one...who collects? -dave
The Top 16 Signs Your Inner Child is Unhappy
16> Hasn't touched your inner trainset for days.
15> Spends all day sulking in your lower intestine.
14> You've stopped shouting "Wheeeee!" on the elevator at work.
13> Joins an inner gang and goes wilding through your pancreas.
12> You attempt to overdose on a lethal combination of J&B and M&M's.
11> When you try to hug him, he pulls away and calls you a "pathetic
10> When your boss calls you incompetant, you reply: "I know you are,
but what am I?"
9> Has been sulking since you refused to buy that Power Ranger doll.
8> Constantly whacking the holy hell out of the inner puppy you gave
him for his birthday.
7> You keep getting thrown out of bars for ordering Lucky Charms and Milk.
6> Primal scream portion of "Bert and Ernie's Anger Management
Workshop" has kept you up three nights in a row.
5> Sudden urge to knock your morning cappuccino and bagel onto the floor.
4> You discover you have an Inner Madonna carrying your Inner Child.
3> Says she can't wait until she's 18 so she can "get the hell outta
2> You keep your therapist at bay with a Lego Uzi until gummi bear
ransom is delivered.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Inner Child is Unhappy...
1> Hires an inner lawyer and slaps your ass with a $40 million inner lawsuit.