IJMC - The Unabomber

Well folks, that time has come again. I must leave you for a few days. In 
other words, I need a break. So I'm taking one. But I'll be kind and 
still give you your daily IJMC fix, just all at once. Try not to 
overdose, I'll leave messages telling you when you can read the messages 
in your inboxes...                                                  -dave






Aliases for the Unabomber 

If the Unabomber blew up cutlery, he'd be called the Spoonabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up Frank Zappa's daughter, he'd be called the
Moon-Unitabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up NC-17 movies, he'd be called the Henry and
Juneabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up the Unification Church, he'd be called the
Sun-Myung Moonabomber.  

If the Unabomber blew up Gilligan's Island, he'd be called the
Maroonabomber.  

If the Unabomber blew up Don Ameche, he'd be called the Cocoonabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up Jeff Gilooly, he'd be called the Goonabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up Charlie, he'd be called the Tunabomber. 

If the Unabomber was great in bed before sunset, they'd call him the
Afternoonabomber Delight.  

If the Unabomber blew up olde-tyme guys who chewed tobacky, he'd be the
Spitoonabomber.  

If the Unabomber sent his mail bombs accompanied by decorative flower
arrangements, he'd be the Festoonabomber.  

If he enclosed an ancient Spanish gold coin with his explosive device,
he'd be the Doubloonabomber.

If he wore big puffy pants, he'd go down as the Pantaloonabomber. 

If the Unabomber blew up Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields, he'd be
called the Blue Lagoonabomber.  

If the Unabomber blew up two other no-name actors a few years later, he'd
be called the Return to the Blue Lagoonabomber.  

If he enclosed trendy hair care products with his explosive device, he'd
be the Vidal Sassoonabomber.