IJMC Saint Pattie's Day

                       IJMC - Saint Pattie's Day

I know I've seen this one before, and I think I've sent it on the IJMC 
some time in the past. But the founder, the irrelevent Michael Ivey, sent 
it to me so I'm passing it along to you. And I've left his .sig attached, 
it's the one just prior to our primary mascot, Mac.                 -dave

Patrick went into his favorite pub in Dublin and ordered 3 pints of
Guinness, to be served all at the same time.  The bartender put the
three pints in front of him, and he took a little sip out of one, put it
down; then took a little sip out of the second, put it down; and then
took a little sip out of the third.  He put it down, went back to the
first pint, and started the process all over again, until he had drunk
all three pints.

Then he paid the bartender and left.

This went on for months, every night the same thing.  Finally, the
bartender cannot stand it any longer, and he approaches Pat. ''Patrick",
he says.

"Aye", says Patrick.

"I've been watching you come in here for months.  Every night you order
the same thing.  Three pints.  All at once.  Then, instead of drinking
them one at a time, you take a little sip out of each one until you
eventually finish all three.  Then, you just leave.  I have never seen
anything like that.  I don't want to be prying into your personal
affairs; but, if you wouldn't mind telling me, WHY?"

"Well, you know my brothers Michael and John moved to New York".


"Well, I promised my brothers that I would have a pint every night in
our favorite pub, just like in the old days, in remembrance of the old
days when we were together.  So, that's what I do each night.  Me and my
brothers are having a drink together.  Do ya' understand now?"


This goes on for years.  In fact, Patrick becomes rather famous in the
pub for it.  Finally, the time comes when Patrick orders only two pints.
 He drinks them the same way and leaves, but everybody knows something
is terribly wrong.  After a few weeks, nobody can stand it anymore, so
they ask the bartender to approach Patrick about it.

So, the bartender approaches Pat, "Patrick?"

"Aye", says Patrick.

"I understand there has been a tragedy in your family".

"WHAT, What tragedy??"

"Well, one of your brothers died recently, I understand".

"What!!!!  Me brothers are fine, never healthier.  Why would you think
something happened to one of me brothers??"

"Well, you always used to drink three pints, every night; and all of a
sudden you started drinking only two pints.  We assumed that something
happened to one of your brothers."

"Noooo... me brothers is fine.  It's just that my Doctor said I had to
take better care of myself, so I quit drinking."

Michael Ivey <bofh@thevineyard.org>         BOFH, Georgia State Television
Phone: (404) 651-4788                       URL: http://gstv.gsu.edu/~ivey
"Did you know that if you're an intellectual, you'll probably end up 
  in Hell for it?"  - Rev. Jonathon Bell

IJMC March 1997 Archives