IJMC Administratium

                       IJMC - Administratium

I have been pounded flat. Tomb Raider is good. And bad. It is evil. 
Addictive and all that. Well, I am sending the IJMC now so I can go to 
sleep. And then play more Tomb Raider tomorrow. Yea, that's it.  -dave

> From a ChemE professor's door:


The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
university physicists.  The element, tentatively named "Administratium",
has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However,
it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons and 161
assistant vice neutrons.  This gives it an atomic mass of 247.  These 247
particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.  However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with.  According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
added to one reaction caused it to take over 4 days.  Without the
Administratium, the reaction occured in les than one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approx. 3 years, at which time
it does not actually but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
places.  Studies show the atomic mass increasing after each reorganization.

Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the
atmousphere.  It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as
government agencies, large corporations and universities.  It can usually
be found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend
plenty of bed rest after even low levels of exposure.

IJMC March 1997 Archives