IJMC The Internet And Drugs

                     IJMC - The Internet And Drugs

I dunno what it is, but the Internet seems to bring out all those who 
think old eighties cartoons and whatnot were all on drugs. Maybe that's 
why the nineties aren't as much fun...the only thing we abuse is TV and 
the Internet. To the point that people keep trying to bring the two 
together. They got it all wrong. I want a cigarette that affects me like 
a double shot of vodka! Anyway, tonight's IJMC fits right in with an 
older post, "Scooby Doo Baked" at 
Of course, the web server will likely be down most of tomorrow, so wait 
until Monday to check it out...if you get a "Socket Not Connected" that 
means I'm trying to upgrade the silly thing. More details later.   -dave

Top Ten Drug Using Cartoon Suspects: 

10. Gargamel (From the Smurfs) Most likely LSD.  Spends his life in 
pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally 
abusing his cat.  What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when 
he catches them anyway?

9. Olive Oyl Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines.  Who 
is that skinny?!  She might even be anorexic, she is always giving 
her burger to her friend.  One side question, what the hell are 
Popeye and Brutus thinking?  What is it, her personality?  NOT!

8. Snagglepuss Can't explain it.  Maybe it's the name, or the look, 
but he is suspicious.

7. He-Man This is an easy one.  I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1.  "BY 
THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor.  Alone 
in his castle, hitting the weights.  And on top of that he even 
injects the shit in his pet tiger.  Can we say "Animal Abuse".

6.& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo We all know what is really in those picnic 
baskets. They go back to the cave and trip.  Another side ? - Are 
they gay? I mean, take a look at BooBoo.  Not that there's anything 
wrong with that.....

4. Droopy The number one downer abuser in toon land.  Can't someone 
slip him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him 
happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you 

3.Dopey Dwarf He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement 
but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing 
some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat. 

2.Daffy Duck If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean.  He is 
so wired he bounces around on his head without pain.  Blows his beak 
off all the time.  Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol 
wouldn't work for him.

1.Shaggy By far the #1 suspect.  His clothes, his hair, his bad 
goatee, the boy converses with dogs.  But all of this is nothing 
until you go to the Munchie Factor.  Anybody who averages 9.3 dog 
treats consumed per episode does pot no if, ands, or, buts about it. 
And look at the way he and his friends painted that van! Pretty rad 
design dude.

IJMC June 1997 Archives