IJMC - They're Gonna Love Me At Work Monday

Ooohweeh. This one is destined to be printed out and hung up in the break 
room. I know I'm gonna post it in the break room at my current place of 
employment...let's just hope I still have a job after Senior Management 
sees it...                                                          -dave






Confucius say:

"The Corporate Zodiac"

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The
Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you
like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on
television. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your
job title, people will have you all figured out... 

MARKETING:
 You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
Least compatible with Sales. 

SALES:
 Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree",
you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs
you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you
can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf
game throughout your life. 

TECHNOLOGY:
 Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content
to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often
even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?!
It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth. 

ENGINEERING:
 One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that
ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be
happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest
"ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your
"carpal tunnel".. 

ACCOUNTING:
 The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane. 

HUMAN RESOURCES:
 Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be
the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person
that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls
today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter! 

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/ DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/ "TEAM LEADS":
 Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain
at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can
schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers", as
everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager". 

SENIOR MANAGEMENT:
 Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain
at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can
schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as
everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager". 

CUSTOMER SERVICE:
 Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your
own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little
cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer
Service". Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.