IJMC - I Just Love These "Gotta Run" Post Days

It's always fun when your Internet provider switches their connection so 
you can't quite get out to the world. At least that's what I think 
happenned yesterday so today's post is a little late. Sorry, but well, 
what can ya do? I tried rebooting the Internet, but the rest of the world 
just wouldn't listen to my commands. Oh well!                       -dave






I met my geek via #2, and all the ladies out there should give it a shot.

Molly Jo

  "I found the secret to life....I'm okay when everything is not okay."
			--Tori Amos 	



              GUIDE TO GEEK ROMANCE

By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat (via Mr Muscle)

So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a
whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here.  All the
sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot
girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently
shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills.

Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one-night stand? Into this
void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man
of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all
his own. In short ... a geek.


1.      Why Geek Dudes Rule

        They are generally available.
        Other women will tend not to steal them.
        They can fix things.
        Your parents will love them.
        They're smart.

2.      Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to
shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends,
discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates
impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands
on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear
t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing
that they are up on the latest ... um, uh .. releases. A small, though
convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing
one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.  Of course the best way
to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret 
fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail 
romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is 
comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, 
socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of 
some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. 
Their lack is your strength.

3.      Imprinting

You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world
works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for
this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must
look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks
often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model
their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to
have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us
view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next 
topic....

4.      The Trek Factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or
keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and
Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep
Space Nine, your Babylon 5.  Armed with your own knowledge of Federation
policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of
Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the
women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on
the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with
luxuriant, flowing hair.  The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of
permanently attached computer auxiliary. This world metaphorizes the
fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in those geeky-but-heroic 
male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart Deanna or Bev to 
come along and deferentially accept him for who he is.  If you are 
willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are 
ready for a geek relationship.

5.      Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by
your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with
Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever
enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed
bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man:  "Geeks
are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the
techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive
people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get more cute and alluring
over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance."

6.      Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think
and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek
understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home
cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you
love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember
that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

7.      Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him.
He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear
interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a
must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the
talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which
appear insignificant.  Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face
(see above) and empathize.  To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer
games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he 
wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three 
MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that 
they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of 
directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese
animated movies; again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

8.      Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as
RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is
sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing
about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with
your girlfriends.  They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't
overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that
you are into the same things they are.

9.      Post-It Note

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft
of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he
thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately
replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro
Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always in
trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several
reasons:

  Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
  He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
  Victoria actually knew who he meant.
  Folks, I think this marriage will last.

10.     One Last Thing

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone
underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They
often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this
as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy
demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer
has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't
quite grasped yet.