IJMC - Corporate Upgrade Policy

This one sat in the break froom for a few months before the head 
accountant pulled it off of the message board. See how long it lasts in 
your company or computer lab!                                     -dave






Subject: Program to Replace S&L PC's
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     Sound advice!


     Every now and then any organization must update its desktop
     facilities.  What is a sound criteria for determining those needs.
     Here are a few of the logically based economic and scientific
     considerations


  Management asks "...how to determine when we need to buy PCs."  Here
  are a few thoughts.

  You can justify replacing your PC if...

     Your numeric keypad uses Roman Numerals.

     Your neighbor's PC's all have lightning bolts on the chassis to warn
     of high voltage inside.  Your PC has a picture of Thor.

     A thief discovers your PC at midnight.  The next morning, atop your PC
     you find a Genuine Hallmark Card.  Inside you find a five dollar bill
     and a book of food stamps.

     Your mouse is made out of Bakelite.

     Your modem's dialer thinks "Compuserve" is "three long and two short."

     You've had to complain to AT&T about constant dinner-time phone calls
     from the Smithsonian Museum.

     Your PC has already been programmed to handle "turn of the century"
     year ambiguities by using four digits, making it possible to
     differentiate ambiguous '96' as either '96BC' or '96AD'.

     Your internal 'HDD' is an FeO2 drum.

     Your internal memory is mercury-vapor-acustic.

     The only Juke Box approved for your PC is The Mighty Whurlitzer.

     Your UPS requires a continuous supply of downhill running water.

     You have a 10'x15' private office.  Whenever management complains, you
     show them your PC.

     Your laptop PC has built-in wheels, a long handle, and a horse collar.

     A list of upgrades for your PC is has been found on the Rosetta Stone.

     Windows on your PC keeps displaying a Pop-Up message saying "Non
     illigitimus te corborundum est."