IJMC - It's Just God and the EPA
In case you didn't know, the EPA is the United State's "Environmental
Protection Agency." Basically it bails businesses out of cleaning up
their own messes. Here, we see what happens when God creates the Earth in
a universe governed by the EPA. -dave
In the Beginning
God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class
action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was
granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the
cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in
the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials demanded
to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a
huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make
light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that he
would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would turn the
light off half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light
"Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied that they were not
interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and bear much seed". The
EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters bring
forth creeping creatures begetting life; and the fowl that may fly over the
earth". Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Fish & Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation
and the National Audubon Society.
Everything was O.K. until God said he wanted to complete the project in Six
days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and environmental impact statement. After that there would be a
public hearing. Then there would be a 10-12 month approval period before...
At this point God created Hell.