IJMC - A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys
How fast do you think we could pass this through Congress if we attach a
part saying that Congressmen do not count as Attorneys, regardless of
past crimes? -dave
372.01 Any person with a valid Montana hunting license may also hunt and
harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial)
372.02 Taking attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. However,
the use of U.S. Currency as bait is prohibited.
372.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motorized vehicle is
prohibited, unless the vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse.
If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motorized behicle, the dead
attorney should be moved to the roadside and then the vehicle should
proceed to the nearest car wash.
372.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power
boat, helicopter, or aircraft.
372.05 It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH"
for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
372.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,
Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.
372.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, health clubs, or hospitals.
372.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have
a license to hunt, trap, or possess the same.
372.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to disguise as a reporter, accident
victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the purpose of
372.10 Daily bag limits: Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2; Two-faced
Tortfeasors: 1; Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3; Horn-rimmed
Cut-throats: 2; and Honest Attorneys: Protected/Endangered species.