IJMC - I am the Very Model of a Modern Teenage Cyberpunk

For all of you who wait up in the wee hours of the morn (or afternoon or 
evening, depending on local) for the daily IJMC posting, well, you've 
been waiting far too long. Which is another way of saying I forgot to 
send anything out last night so I'm doing it now...oh well. If you can't 
figure out the rhythym for this song, you haven't been watching your fair 
share of Animaniacs. I recommend you do so. You know you've seen enough 
when you start complaining to strangers that Warner Brothers hasn't made 
a new Animaniacs episode in far too long (a day can be far too long...). 
Lastly, in case you hadn't noticed, it is a Monday. Aagh.           -dave




If you don't get it, you haven't been listening to enough Gilbert
and Sullivan lately.


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I am the Very Model of a Modern Teenage Cyberpunk


I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk.
I rent my own apartment, and it's full of electronic junk.
I own a VAX, 486, I've even got a PDP.
I've finished Myst and Doom, but I am stumped by Wing Commander III.
                                                       
I'm very well aquainted, too, with matters pornographical.
I have a list of image sites, both overseas and national.
So if you want to see a picture of that Anna Nichole Smith,
I'll fire up my terminal and fetch for you a naughty GIF.
        
I'm totally an anarchist.  The government I'd like to wreck,
Though if they were to get blown up, who'd give to me my welfare cheque?
In short if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk.

I know the ancient myths about RTM, Pengo, and Mitnick.
I hack into computers, and I then perform a credit check.
I scare all my non-hacker friends with tales of cracker theivery,
and even though I'm spouting crap, they listen and believe in me.
        
I've learned to spot a troll, and I've seen flames about the way I spell.
I've traced badly forged cancels and seen napalm poured on AOL.
I've laughed at all the newbies and their flailing cries of "You all suck!"
I've been flamed by Carasso, with an anvil I have then been struck.

I've hung around in alt.tasteless and seen war waged on rec.pets.cats.
I've spent my time in talk.bizarre and used those stupid Relay Chats.
In short, if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk
        
Well postings like "MAKE.MONEY.FAST", I am now somewhat wary at.
I have been "Global Killfiled" by the Joel Furr Commissariat.
When rosebud posts a lengthy rant 'bout Microsoft she swears is true,
I know that she is just another short lived kook without a clue.

When I have learnt what progress has been made upon the Internet,
When I know something more than just a smattering of netiquette,
In short when I can have a world-wide soapbox on which I can stand,
I've got no time for other things, like beer and trips to Disneyland.

My life outside the Internet is very, very sad you see.
I cannot get my spots to fade.  My social life's a tragedy,
But still if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk.