IJMC - Memorable Quotes
It may not be quite what they said, but what a world it would be if they
had! As a warning, if you don't like the first two, they don't change
much. It ain't pretty, but it can be funny... -dave
"Hey Chuck, nice knife!"
- Childhood friend of Charles Manson, now deceased
"Excuse me sir, is this your penis?"
-The guy who found Bobbit's dick
"I thought it would make a wicked wave to surf on."
- Moses, talking about the real reason he parted the Red Sea
"I think we will have to drop the charges, the evidence won't
stand up in court."
- The prosecuting attourney in the Bobbit trial
"Well, they were right, it does taste like chicken."
- One of the survivors of the Himalayan plane crash
"I told you damn rabbits 'Only two!'."
- Noah, loading up the Ark
- Ben Franklin, the moment he discovered electricity
"Ow, ow, hey, ow, fuck off, stop it, ow, ow, stop it!"
- Rodney King
"Maybe we should tie one end down...ya think?"
- An observer of the first (failed) Bungee jump
"Maybe we should use something elastic...ya think?"
- Same observer at the second (failed) Bungee jump
"Hoooooooollllllllyyyyyyyyyy Shhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt !!!"
- The first person to ever atempt Bungee jumping
"My legs! Arghhh! My fucking legs!!!!!"
- The second person to ever attempt Bungee jumping
"I can't believe people laugh at this shit."
- Steve Martin, contemplating anything he has ever done
"Now what the fuck do I do?"
- The Russian cosmonaut after the collapse of the Soviet
"What the hell are you trying to say?"
- Any dog looking at its owner
"I still can't understand why anyone buys this shit."
- The brewers at Labatt, discussing 50
"Now how come I didn't think of that?"
- The owner of a little book depository in Dallas
"Wow, some lady walked into my room, picked me up, and put her
breast in my mouth. I liked it!"
- A baby boys first tangeable thought
- Famous last words of anyone stepping out in front of a
"No, I didn't mean I believe I _am_ Jesus Christ, I meant I
believe *IN* Jesus Christ!"
- David Koresh, trying to get his ass out of the fire
"Uh, just kidding!?!"
- David Koresh, still trying to get his ass out of the fire
"Guess I shouldn't have pissed them off."
- Saddam Hussein, talking to one of his advisors, right
before the Americans attacked
"Hey! Give me my fucking arm back!"
- One of Jeffery Dahlmers victims
"This is good Jeff, what is it?"
- One of Jeffery Dahlmers friends, having dinner that evening
"Hey! Come on Jeff, now put the knife down!"
- Jeffery Dahlmers friend, later that evening
"Holy shit! I'm boiling human heads! What the fuck am I thinking?!"
- Jeffery Dahlmer's momentary lapse of sanity
"What pretty lights!"
- Any deer, any highway, late at night
"Get me a bitch, I'm really horny!"
- What Lassie was really trying to say when Timmy fell down
"Watch me pull up nice and close to this iceberg."
- The captain of the Titanic, trying to impress on of the
"Chuck! You made it, and you brought some friends!"
- The host of the party the Manson family stormed
"Rats! Big Motherfucking Rats!"
- Walt Disney, when asked what his vision for Disney World was