IJMC - Bumper Stickers as if We Wrote Them!

I'd write something interesting, but I'm on the phone now, so read on, 
this one's short and sweet!                                      -dave




     Bumper Sticker Quotes (or what ought to be!)
     --------------------------------------------
     
     Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. 
     
     Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
     
     We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
     
     We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. 
     
     Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. 
     
     He who laughs last thinks slowest!
     
     Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. 
     
     "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!" 
     
     Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
     
     Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. 
     
     Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. 
     
     What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
     
     "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
     
     Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. 
     
     Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
     
     I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. 
     
     The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. 
     
     The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
     
     Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
     
     I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. 
     
     All generalizations are false.
     
     Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
     
     "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.