IJMC - Managed Care at the Orchestra?

Oi! I have no reason anymore to wonder why I dislike the managed care 
and/or health insurance industries. We all know health care currently 
costs too much...so we should not allow the HMO's and whatnot's to earn 
their own profit on top of everything! Support the non-profit's if you 
have to, at least they spend the money on care, not on advertising, legal 
fees, executive salaries, etc. Ok, I'll stand down for now, I like this 
post, even if it does ring a little too true!                       -dave





Found on the Managed Care Forum, Managed Care Gossip
(http://www.amso.com/):

The president of a large managed health care facility also served on the
board of his community's symphony orchestra. Finding that he could not go
to one of the concerts, he gave his tickets to the company's director of
health care cost containment. The next morning, he asked the director how
he enjoyed the performance. Instead of the usual polite remarks, the
director handed him a memo which read as follows: 

The undersigned submits the following comments and recommendations
relative to the performance of Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony" by this
city's symphony orchestra as observed under actual working conditions: 

A. The attendance of the conductor is unnecessary for the public
performances. The orchestra has obviously practiced and has the prior
authorization from the conductor to play the symphony at a predetermined
level of quality. Considerable money could be saved merely by having the
conductor critique the orchestra's performance during a retrospective peer
review meeting. 

B. For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to do.
Their numbers should be reduced and their work spread over the whole
orchestra, thus eliminating peaks and valleys of activity. 

C. All 12 violins were playing identical notes with identical motions.
This is unnecessary duplication: the staff of this section should be cut
drastically with consequent savings. If a large volume of sound is
required, this could be obtained through electronic amplification, which
has reached high levels of reproductive quality. 

D. Much effort was expanded playing 16th notes or semi-quavers. This seems
an excessive refinement, as most listeners are unable to distinguish such
rapid playing. It is recommended that all notes be rounded up to eighths.
If this is done, it would also be possible to use trainees and lower grade
musicians with no loss of quality. 

E. No useful purpose would appear to be served by repeating with horns the
same passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such
redundant passages were eliminated, as determined by the utilization
review committee, the concert would have been reduced from two hours to
about 20 minutes, resulting in substantial savings in salaries and
overhead. In fact, if Schubert had addressed these concerns on a cost
containment basis, he probably would have been able to finish this
symphony!