IJMC - One Liners

Several of these have already been posted to the IJMC at one time or 
another but there are several new ones I at least had not seen before. So 
here's to another compilation of one-liners and what-not.           -dave






     After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of
     the water?

     How can there be self-help "groups"?

     If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

     If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

     If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he
     automatically lose because he can't find himself?

     If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
     considered a hostage situation?

     Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they
     still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

     Is there another word for synonym?

     Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

     Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their
     stomach?

     When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket
     signs?

     When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
     thrown away?

     When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why
     you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

     Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

     Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

     Why do they report power outages on TV?

     Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't
     afraid to have a Chapter 11?