IJMC - Alien Techniques

If you are of the faint of heart, and easily startled by sexual 
implications, well, this might be a good time to pull the tabs. Eject. 
Bail out. Go down with the ship. Flee. Run away! Now.            -dave







A young man and woman have only been married for two days.  One night, 
just as they are getting ready to go to bed, they hear a noise in the
backyard, kind of like a vacuum cleaner in reverse. They put on their
robes and run outside, there, hovering over the lawn is a flying saucer. 
It lands, and two tall, beautiful silver aliens get out. Obviously a male
and a female, and according to earth standard, quite beautiful.  They
explain to the newlyweds that they need to stay overnight to effect
repairs to their ship. 

The young couple agrees, and invite the aliens in for a snack. The
aliens agree, but say that it would only be sociable to then invite the 
newlyweds for a snack.

"We will invite you aboard our spacecraft, but you must abide by our 
customs. You must stay the night, and it is only courteous that we
change partners for the night."

The newlyweds talk it over and agree. 

That night, the wife is with the male alien.  He undresses and she
stares at his perfect body. Then her gaze crosses his groin, and a look 
of disappointment comes over her.  "Is there something wrong?" asks the 
alien.

"Well, you seem so ... uh... small." 

"No problem," replies the alien, he twists his ear and his organ grows 
longer.  The  woman still seems  disappointed.  She indicates she would 
like the alien to be "wider." He twists the other ear and grows wider. 

The next morning over breakfast, the wife tells her husband what a
wonderful night she had with the alien, and that she can hardly wait to 
share some of the techniques with her husband the next night.

"Honey, how was your night?" she asks. 

"Terrible." he said."The female alien was truly beautiful, but all she 
did was twist my ears all night long."