IJMC - If Bill Was Bubba

Now I'm from Georgia, so no quips about that. Just take everything in 
stride and remember, a shotgun is much easier to use than a computer. 
                                               -dave





What if Bill Gates had been raised a good'ol'boy down 
south.  How different Microsoft would be if Bill Gates ran 
Microsoft from South Georgia:

   1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders.
     
   2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty 
beer bottle.
     
   3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window covered with 
a Hefty bag.
     
   4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of 
"Ahh-ight" or "Naw".
     
   5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be 
Dueling Banjos.
     
   6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an 
outhouse.
     
   7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear 
a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
     
   8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme 
song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart".
     
   9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".
     
  10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul 
Basic" and "Vishul C++".
     
  11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate 
Flag.
     
  12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.
     
  13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK 
servers.
     
  14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!".
     
  15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called 
"Cuz".
     
  16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old 
Trans Am.
     
  17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft 
Henhouse.
     
  18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver.
     
  19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a 
billionaire.
     
  20. Spreadsheet software would include examples to 
inventory dead cars in your front yard.
     
  21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull 
Simulator.
     
  22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.