IJMC - Microsoft Toast

   T.  O.  A.  S.  T.
                           T.  O.  A.  S.  T.
                                                   T.  O.  A.  S.  T.  -dave





During Bill Gates speech at COMDEX yesterday, he introduced a new product,
to be unveiled at COMDEX today, called Microsoft Toast(tm).  The media was
given a pre-release demo and encouraged to try it out while preparing
their breakfast this morning. 

Here is one reporter's transcript of his morning:
 ----------------------------
Insert Bread - <Ok> <Cancel>

"<Ok>"

Use slider control to select # of seconds to toast bread.

"<5>"

Toasting]  And remember that only Microsoft bread(tm) is guaranteed
to work perfectly in...  TOAST BURNING - PRESS CANCEL TO STOP TOASTING 
PROCESS
<Ok> <Cancel>

"<Cancel>"

GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT 0300:0100  TOAST EXPLORER(tm) HAS STOPPED 
RESPONDING TO THE SYSTEM, PRESS RETRY TO RESTART OR CANCEL TO CONTINUE 
WAITING FOR PROGRAM RESPONSE.

"<Cancel>"

Microsoft Security(tm) system determines that the smoke levels in your home 
have become dangerously high, would you like Microsoft Security(tm) to call 
the fire department? - <OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

MAPI FAULT - PHONE ALREADY IN USE BY MICROSOFT EXCHANGE, PLEASE SHUT DOWN 
PROGRAM AND RETRY. - <OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

Microsoft Security(tm) system determines that the smoke levels in your home 
have become dangerously high, would you like Microsoft Security(tm) to call 
the fire department? - <OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

"<START> <PROGRAM FILES>  "

MAPI FAULT - PHONE ALREADY IN USE BY MICROSOFT EXCHANGE, PLEASE SHUT DOWN 
PROGRAM AND RETRY. - <OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

Are you sure you wish to shut down Microsoft Exchange? -<OK><CANCEL>

"<OK>"

TOAST EXPLORER(tm) HAS STOPPED RESPONDING TO THE SYSTEM, THIS PROGRAM WILL 
BE TERMINATED - <OK>

"<OK>"

Microsoft Security(tm) system has determined that your house is on fire, 
and/or in the midst of an intruder alert.  Would you like Microsoft 
Security(tm) to call the police? - <OK> <CANCEL>

[DISCLAIMER - CALLING THE POLICE FOR A NONURGENT SITUATION CAN LEAD TO 
SEVERE CRIMINAL FINES AND PENALTIES, FOR WHICH MICROSOFT(tm) WILL NOT BE 
HELD LIABLE.  MICROSOFT(tm) DOES NOT GUARANTEE RESPONSE TIMES OR YOUR 
SAFETY, ONLY THAT THE
COMPUTER WILL ATTEMPT TO CALL THE POLICE.  IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO ACCEPT THIS 
REPONSIBILITY, PLEASE PRESS REJECT BELOW.  Do
you accept this reponsibility?] - <ACCEPT> <REJECT>

"<ACCEPT>"

MAPI FAULT - MAPI ALREADY IN USE.

MAPI HAS STOPPED RESPONDING TO THE SYSTEM, THIS PROGRAM WILL BE TERMINATED.
<OK>

"<OK>"

Microsoft Security(tm) system has determined that the system is in danger. 
  The system will now power down for safety reasons. <POWER DOWN> <STAY ON>

"<STAY ON>"

Microsoft Security(tm) system has determined that your house is on fire, 
and/or in the midst of an intruder alert.  Would you like Microsoft 
Security(tm) to call the police? - <OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

Microsoft Power Management(tm) has determined that a power loss has occured 
and the UPS has been activated.  You have 10 minutes of power left.
 -<OK> <CANCEL>

"<OK>"

MICROSOFT SECURITY FAULT - MAPI NOT PRESENT

MICROSOFT SECURITY HAS BECOME UNSTABLE AND WILL BE TERMINATED. -<OK>

"<esc>"
"<esc>"
"<esc>"
"<OK>"

YOUR SYSTEM HAS BECOME UNSTABLE - PLEASE REBOOT THE SYSTEM.