IJMC Top Ten Reasons Hell is Better than Microsoft

            IJMC - Top Ten Reasons Hell is Better than Microsoft

Just for Ronnie, who let me know I had failed in sending out the IJMC 
before 1am (my closer-to-normal-bedtime) instead of 5:30am as it is now, 
I'm sending out this second posting. Ok, the fact that my mouse 
dissapeared in certain Win95 windows until I rebooted the system had a 
little bit to do with it...hmm, only a little more work to do before I 
can sleep...<yawn>...just remember, send your name and whatnot to that 
guy from the last posting! G'night Gracie.                         -dave

The top ten reasons Eternal Damnation is better
than Windows Software Development ...

Eternal Damnation                     Windows Development
-----------------------------         ------------------------------

                              - 10 -
It never ends.                        You think you're almost done,
                                      but you never really finish.

                              - 9 -
You burn forever, but are not         Each update introduces new
consumed.                             and improved tortures, which
                                      slowly consume you.

                              - 8 -
Your fate is in the hands of          Your fate is in the hands of
Satan, Prince of Darkness.            Gates, Prince of Incompatibility.

                              - 7 -
Satan gives you something you         Gates makes you buy Windows 95.
want in return for being damned.

                              - 6 -
It is avoidable; an attractive,       Resistance is futile. All the
widely-marketed alternative is        alternatives are damned or
available.                            doomed.

                              - 5 -
It is free.                           You pay, and pay, and pay just
                                      to stay in the game.

                              - 4 -
Satan was once an angel.              Gates started by writing a BASIC

                              - 3 -
Hell has no Windows.                  Microsoft does.

                              - 2 -
You only pass the Gates of Hell       The Gates of Microsoft keeps
one time.                             popping up everywhere you look.

                          AND NUMBER ONE:
Satan genuinely believes in the       Gates just does it for the money.
triumph of Evil.

IJMC June 1996 Archives