IJMC Three Men and a Little Heaven

		  IJMC - Three Men and a Little Heaven

I know that I've likely sent this one out sometime in the past two years, 
however I think it is worthwhile for today. Why? Because the Baptists 
have problems with DISNEY! Of all people for the Baptists to have trouble 
with, couldn't they have picked _anyone_ else? Oh well. Enjoy!      -dave

  3 men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
  Apparently, it had been a pretty busy day, though, so PETER had to tell
  the 1st one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've 
  been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible 
  deaths. So what's your story?"
  So the 1st man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my
  wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to 
  catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell
  something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where
  this other guy could have ben hiding. Finally, I went out the balcony,
  an sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors
  above the ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him
  'n kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So
  finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting
  hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so
  he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the
  bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the
  kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed
  on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me,
  and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
  "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said PETER, and let
  the man in.
  The 2nd man comes up and PETER explains to him about heaven
  being full, and again asks for his story.
  "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor
  of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on 
  my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, 
  because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing  
  of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on very 
  long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for 
  sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held 
  on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a 
  hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but 
  again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all 
  right. Jut when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this 
  refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, 
  and now I'm here."
  Once again, PETER had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
  horrible death.
  The 3rd man came to the front of the line, and again PETER
  explained that heaven was full 'n asked for his story.
  "Picture this," says the 3rd man, "I'm hiding naked inside a

IJMC June 1996 Archives