IJMC A New Car

                          IJMC - A New Car

This one's about a new car whose alignment pulls to the right:

    [ed note. I kept the previous description for this one...  -dave]

This lady always wanted an expensive car -- a status symbol to drive           
around and be seen in.  She scrimps and saves, goes to the dealer, and         
plops down several years income for a brand new state-of-the-art,              
computer-enhanced, kick-ass, dream mobile.  She's driving off.  Decides she    
wants  some music and searches for the radio.  The dashboard looks like a      
control panel at NASA.  She fiddles with this button, that gizmo... jiggles    
these and those, but finally gives up.  Can't find the damned thing.           

Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams at the salesman.         
Tells him they forgot to install the radio.                                    

He assures her it's right there in front of her.  It's hooked into the         
onboard computer.  All she has to do is tell it what she wants.  He            
demonstrates: "Classical", he says *click* the car fills with the              
sounds of Paganini.                                                            
"Blues", he says, and *click* a B.B. King classic plays.                       

She drives off amazed.  "Country", she says, and *click* a Tex Ritter         
tune comes on.  "Folk"  *click*  Joan Baez sings about the night they         
drove ol' Dixie down. "New Age" *click*  Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on.     
She's so captivated by this new toy that she isn't paying much attention      
to the road.  Another driver runs a light and cuts her off.                   

"ASSHOLE!!!" she screams.                                                     

*click* "Good morning, everyone.  You're listening to the Rush Limbaugh Show"

IJMC July 1996 Archives