IJMC Heaven and Hell 95

			IJMC - Heaven and Hell 95

A lady I work with and I have a running joke about Win95, "Just remember 
that this is intuitive." If you've worked with it at all (beyond setting 
up that Packard Bell system you bought at CompUSA and playing some 
solitaire) I think you'll know what I mean. So here's to Gate's demise. 
Now if only it was a bit less exaggerated...			   -dave

   Have you heard the news?  Bill Gates died.  Terribly depressing, isn't
it?  Well, he did, and being the wealthy person he is (was), as he left
our earth, Saint Peter (not one of St. Peter's assistants) took Mr. Gates
on a personal tour of the facilities available in the afterlife.
   First, they visited hell where St. Peter showed Bill all manner of
wondrous sights.  There were breathtaking vistas - scenes of beauty and
tranquility, beautiful buildings - fantastic works of architecture,
pristine beaches where gorgeous women were clammering to get to men (kinda
like a beer commercial), and people enjoying themselves everywhere they
could see.  It looked to be paradise, and St. Peter was telling Bill the
whole time that it was really hell they were looking at.  Bill liked what
he saw.
   Next, they visited heaven.  The pace of activities there was slow,
people were just sitting around, occasionally chatting, and they seemed
mostly bored.  Compared to hell, it certainly looked like a rather drab
place.  It looked tollerable, but it certainly didn't look as exciting and
enjoyable as the other place.
   Bill did not take long to make up his mind.  He decided hell was the
place to be, and told St. Peter of his decision.  No sooner had Bill said,
"Hell's the place for me," than he found himself in the midst of an
inferno, shovelling coal and not particularly enjoying himself.  It was
hell, and he didn't particularly care for it.  He was indeed perplexed, so
he asked St. Peter, "Pete, what's the deal here?  This isn't the hell I
saw a little while ago."
   The good saint replied, "But Bill, that was just the demo!"

IJMC January 1996 Archives