IJMC - The Italian Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down In Malta

Ok, mebbe not quite, but I just saw a funny skit about Hugh Grant on 
Saturday Night Live. Really, I mean it. There was actually a funny skit 
on the show again. First time for everything ain't there. Hasta.  -dave




                 THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO MALTA
   (must be read with an italian accent, preferably out loud)

   One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down
to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She
brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go
to the toilet. I say you no understand . I wanna to piss onna my
plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma
bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

    Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings
me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She
tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I
wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the
table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she
call me sonna ma bitch.

    So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna
my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me
to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed.
He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't
even know the man and he call me sonna ma bitch.

    I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace unto
you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I'm a gonna
back to Italy.