IJMC - You Might be an Online Junkie If...

 * You read the International Junk Mail Clearinghouse daily.

 * You run the International Junk Mail Clearinghouse.  -dave






 You Might be an online junkie if ...
 
 * Your monthly AOL bill is more than your mortgage payment
 
 * Your wife is suing your (ISP) for alienation of affection.
 
 * You've started to call yourself Quasi-Modem.
 
 * You get sexually aroused when you hear the sound of your modem 
 connecting.
 
 * You get up at 3am just to check your email.
 
 * After falling asleep while suring for 18 hours straight, you are found 
 lying prostate on the floor muttering, "I've fallen and I can't reach my 
 web browser."
 
 * When filling out your driver's license application, you give your IP 
 Address.
 
 * You introduce your spouse as mywife@home.com
 
 * Your definition of spending time with friends consists of going to other 
 people's home pages.
 
 * While watching TV you yell out ROFL at the funny parts.
 
 * You tell people when you were last updated.
 
 *  You've never used the STOP button on your web browser.
 
 * You get aroused whenever you see underlined text.
 
 * You write interoffice memos with HTML tags in them.
 
 * You call your children "client applications".
 
 * Your wife introduces you to her friends as her domain server.
 
 * You see in 72 DPI.
 
 Just a few, more to follow later.
 
 
 Jimmy Dixon                          Some days you eat the bear, 
 jedixon@mercury.interpath.com         others, the bear eats you :) 
 KF4KHU