IJMC - W A R N I N G !

I'm going to post this one and then step away from the computer... -dave




                               W A R N I N G !

    This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

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A special circuit in the machine called a "critical detector" senses the 
operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use the
machine. The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction
proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine 
with violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise, attempts to use
another machine may cause it to also malfunction. They belong to the same
network. Keep cool and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems 
to work.

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      REMEMBER: Never let anything mechanical know you are in a hurry.