IJMC Hacker: 5'8", 46-22-36, 110 pounds.

	        IJMC - Hacker: 5'8", 46-22-36, 110 pounds.

Don't you wish you could find one like this...don't forget Sysop Skippy!

(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the
"Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month.  The aim of
these dolls is to revert the stereotype that women are numerophobic,
computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.

This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own
xterminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.

The Barbie is robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out
jeans with Casio all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants
on fire.

Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional.  The new Barbie has the
incredible ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to
go without eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly
consists of technical terms such as "IP address," "TCP/IP," "kernel,"
"NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."

"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketing
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
dolls that say, "Math is hard," with condescending companion Ken.  The
HackerBarbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who frequently asks Barbie
for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
dolls. Naomi Wolf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
terminate the notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to
mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."

Mattel made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind
by comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out.  "My daughter
Jenny plays with the prototype Hacker Barbie over yonder for two days," says
Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi, "and as y'all know, she now pays
my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she duz it, but she surely duz
it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama." Mattel will be
offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach
computer ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE B1FF!!!" will serve
as an introduction to expository writing.

Yet Another E-Mail Sent By The International Junk Mail Clearinghouse (IJMC).
Unless otherwise specified, distribute freely. All questions, comments,
submissions, and requests should be directed to Dave at eatheror@netcom.com
       IJMC WebPage - http://gsusgi2.gsu.edu/~stdmdix/ijmc/ijmc.html

This is Mac.                                            \\\\|////
He wants to travel the world.                           ( O   O )
Please add him to your .sig and help him.          ---oOOo--U--oOOo---

IJMC May 1995 Archives